In No Need Of Pretense January 6, 2010

With people you love absolutely, there really isn’t any need for make-up. they see how beautiful you are anyway, they know your flaws, they know the real you, they know the scars and the cheek-bones, they know your nice qualities and they know when you can be a real asshole! They can see through the camouflage and the pretense and the blue lenses that make you look so good and they will always love you unconditionally.

I guess we always know this subconsciously. It all came to me when I was perusing through photographs of a very fashionable friend who won’t ever be seen without make up and perfect hair – at a grocery~! I saw her pictures with her family. She was plain, simple, sans make up and all the pretenses. She was looking beautiful and this time it was the beauty deeper than her skin, conveyed through the joy her eyes – the joy of always being surrounded by people she loved and those who loved her in return!

Cheers to the new year!

Hope? December 14, 2009

Might I say how beautiful the weather is? And that it has been raining for two whole days and its so romantic?

But this is the last thing on my mind.

I have a question I need an answer to, but she who can answer it, is a person who mutely accepts.

What will happen if  someone I deeply care for will be hurt? Will it not be in vain, if I protest and say that I want to protect that person – but risk the chance of being brutally scarred myself – especially since my pleas will fall on deaf years? And my heart will bleed forever?

Then And Now August 19, 2009

Then, I never could imagine myself as a mom for miscelleanous valid reasons.

Now, I hold my baby in my arms for hours without ever feeling I’ve done it enough.

Then, I just thought I knew what mad mad obsessive compulsive love was.

Now, post-birth, for my baby and husband, I feel a mad sort of obsessive posessive love that causes a warm heartache 24×7. Now, there is this river of love flowing constantly through me. It is in my hands, in the chores they perform all day. It is in my body, which tirelessly cushions my baby everytime she needs to be held. It is in words and food and my fears and the tiny things which make each day worthwhile.

Then, I thought I’d lose me.

Now, I know I’ve found me.