Pondering June 29, 2010

When will the skin on my hands start feeling like skin without the numerous applications of moisturizers?

I don’t know.
It’s a lot of work at home and I’m a SAHM and Wife.
Morning until night.

I’m upset and am leaning towards being cribby. So tolerate me please. And now I’m thinking of all I’ve got. And here goes –

But even if I never have those pre-UAE dainty hands again, I’m still grateful. Because I would prefer to count my blessings and thank Allah that I have so much more than those people with absolutely soft hands.

Soft hands is a very small price to pay for peace and tranquility.

The Mighty God/Allah! January 10, 2010

Helps us in our best and worst times.

Helps us to stand and holds us when we fall.

My 9th grade teacher, Miss Revathi L, addressed the students during Value Ed. Class, one time. We were talking about God. She said that we are always happy when things go our way. And we offer many prayers of thanks to Him, and sometimes in our happiness we forget the Thank You.

But what about, when things don’t go our way?

What when one or both of our parents die? Or we lose a sibling? Or a grandparent? Or when someone hurts us? Or when we’re facing severe problems in life? Do we Thank Him? We don’t.

We scream and blame and cry but we never say the Thank You to God, for being there and simply, invisibly holding our hand. We fail to thank him for the good times. We forget to thank him for our strength.

We never know what his purpose is when we are in pain, and we never thank Him for getting us through the day or for the chance we have to see another tomorrow and survive.

Surviving a Trial January 7, 2010

Trials are a part and parcel of life. How we choose to look at the trials in our life, is what really matters. And it is this attitude that changes our life. Makes  us happier people than hateful.

We have our best moments and our share of doomsday moments. But every trial is a long race. Surviving it is the goal. The Medallion. In the run for this medallion there will be hurdles, that’ll trip us over, scratch our knee, make our ankles bleed. But keeping in mind that no matter what, and even if things are moving slow, we will survive – is the indomitable spirit each of us have. This spirit, helps us undermine the hurdles.

With the passage of every trial in life, we sense the difference in us. People close to us also do. We all come out as stronger people. Better people. Mature people.

(But hey! people dont need to suffer trials to become nicer or more mature… thas not what i’m saying!! LOL! Some of us are born saints!)

To come up with this lengthy post, I’ve also had to suffer various trials of my own. None of them remotely bearable, but I kept my spirit alive thinking, ‘there will be a tomorrow’.  Yes, I’ve learned many things the hard way, but in the end I feel like a better person.

In No Need Of Pretense January 6, 2010

With people you love absolutely, there really isn’t any need for make-up. they see how beautiful you are anyway, they know your flaws, they know the real you, they know the scars and the cheek-bones, they know your nice qualities and they know when you can be a real asshole! They can see through the camouflage and the pretense and the blue lenses that make you look so good and they will always love you unconditionally.

I guess we always know this subconsciously. It all came to me when I was perusing through photographs of a very fashionable friend who won’t ever be seen without make up and perfect hair – at a grocery~! I saw her pictures with her family. She was plain, simple, sans make up and all the pretenses. She was looking beautiful and this time it was the beauty deeper than her skin, conveyed through the joy her eyes – the joy of always being surrounded by people she loved and those who loved her in return!

Cheers to the new year!

Hope? December 14, 2009

Might I say how beautiful the weather is? And that it has been raining for two whole days and its so romantic?

But this is the last thing on my mind.

I have a question I need an answer to, but she who can answer it, is a person who mutely accepts.

What will happen if  someone I deeply care for will be hurt? Will it not be in vain, if I protest and say that I want to protect that person – but risk the chance of being brutally scarred myself – especially since my pleas will fall on deaf years? And my heart will bleed forever?

Education December 14, 2009

This is the age of education. A majority of the world’s population is educated and being educated. And yet some of the educated choose to ignore their education, and do exactly what uneducated people would do… Did I forget to mention that when you ignore your education it is harmful, mostly to you and your own?

Also, education gives us the light of understanding. The power to distinguish right from wrong, truth from lies. And yet some people choose to buckle under fallacies than protecting their rights and fighting for the truth.

And sometimes, the worst dangers to a happy society are those people who get degrees in the name of education, but believe with all their heart that a certain thing is good, when it is actually an evil.

___

My thoughts in reference to prevalent harmful and illogical ideas, behavior, practices, traditions and beliefs.

Winter’s Back! October 26, 2009

Slowly but surely…

The days have started to darken by 5 PM and the nights end with pleasantly cool mornings… so cool, it’w worth rejoicing that you can finally grace the balcony you have with a cup of hot tea or coffee.

And now it’s worthwhile to wake up to welcome the morning! Love it!

And it’s also worth taking a long walk in the evenings..

But I miss those days (a wee bit) of going to office, all dressed up, re-assured by the season that my expensive make up would still be perfectly in place.

Oh, by the way , speaking of mornings. Did I mention that the traffic going to Dubai chokes the road completely? Wonder how these Minibus and other public transport drivers manage to reach passengers to their workplaces in one hour? Especially when getting out of Nahda and on to E311 takes a good whole 40 min in traffic… So what about those people travelling from Rolla? Hubby uses a minibus too! And I’m always so worried especially when he returns home to tell me that there was a horrific accident on E311.

Anyway.

Let me enjoy this morning , staying warm with my tea and curling up in the warmest blanket ever with my daughter.

Empower Girls To Be Strong From the Inside Out October 8, 2009

By Patrick Sandora on August 3, 2009 10:58 AM

I don’t know about you, but I’m suffering from a bad case of only what I can call “Shudder Syndrome”, and it seems to be worsening. It’s a relatively new ailment, but it always materializes when I read those disturbing statistics about young girls. I’m sure you know the ones about anorexia, depression, cutting, date rape, binge drinking, aggression, and bulimia. The list goes on and on. The minute I hear one, my ailment flares up: it always starts with a bad feeling deep down, and then my whole body just shudders. There has to be other parents like me who are shaking with worry. And I’m the mom of three boys! I can only imagine your symptoms if you’re raising daughters. This is scary stuff.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not implying that our girls are doomed. And certainly boys have their own share of problems as well. I’m just saying we need to keep a closer eye on those trends and realize leading experts are concerned about the young female gender (and with quite valid reasons). We are seeing a rise in depression, eating disorders and low self-esteem. Most experts agree that it’s due to continual negative messages that happiness comes from the outside (being a particular dress size, wearing designer labels, or getting liposuction or breast implants (I kid you not. The increase of plastic surgery among young women is frightening!) Robbed is that great notion that real happiness comes from the inside. 

So how do we counter those constant negative media continually bombard our girls? How do we help young girls realize that there are other ways to be happy than by being rich, famous, or pencil-thin? What are ways for parents to help their daughters learn to feel comfortable in their own skin without having to copy “the look” of this week’s Hollywood idol? And just how do we turn these troubling trends around and help our girls grow to be strong, confident and happy?

Here are the four strategies:

1. Be a confident mom. Girls don’t learn to love themselves by hearing our self-esteem dinner lecture, but by having confident role models to copy. Sounds so obvious, but how easily that child development tenet is overlooked. And there’s proof: A famous University of California at Davis study found that a mother’s working status, occupation, income, education, religious affiliation, and even IQ were no where as significant on her child’s self-esteem as the mother’s own confidence level. 

Your self-perceptions–whether high or low–do trickle down to your child. So take care of yourself so your daughter can learn to love herself just as she is. Ask yourself one question each night: “If my daughter had only my behavior to watch today what would she have caught?” Was it independence or dependence? Confidence or insecurity? Be mindful of your influence. Model what you want your daughter to become. You do matter.

2. Stay connected to your daughter. I know those preteen and teen years can be tough on a parent’s ego, but a big mistake is stepping back from our daughter’s lives. Don’t! One of the most comforting finding (that didn’t make me shutter) was a survey conducted by the Girl Scouts of America survey. (Gotta love the Girl Scouts). Read this carefully: Ninety one percent of over 2000 girls surveyed aged eight to nine go to their mothers for advice.

The Early Days

Find ways to stay connected and get into her life. Granted, it may take a bit of creativity, but think! If your daughter is leaning more towards her peers, why not get a few of her friend’s mothers on board? Start a mother-daughter book club or go to yoga or exercise as a group. Watch Friends or Mean Girl with her. Read and discuss Harry Potter because she loves it. Or do what one mom told me she did: read Teen People so you can get into her zone. 

3. Foster her strengths and passions. Find that spark in your daughter and help nurture her passions, capabilities, and interests. Yoga, horseback riding, drawing, basketball, writing, cooking: what turns your daughter on? Always tailor your parenting towards her natural nature so she has permission to be herself. Let her know you love her for who she really is–not for what you hope she will become. Doing so is one of the best ways to nurture strong identity and self-worth.

The Epitome of a Positive Female Role Model

4. Find positive, female role models. Let’s offer our daughters female role models who feel comfortable in their own skin (and don’t need to rely on Botox, breast implants, dieting, and designer labels to feel attractive). What about J.K. Rowling, Erin Brockovich, Michelle Wei, Anne Hathaway, Great Aunt Harriet or even the neighbor lady next door? Expose your daughter to authentic, confident women, and then tell her why you admire them. Our girls need strong, resourceful female examples to emulate. Enough of Paris, Lindsay and Britney! 

Our best hope is to help daughters learn as early as possible that real happiness isn’t borrowed or copied, but lies within. That’s exactly why we need to help our girls become strong from the inside out. Doing so is what will help our daughters feel comfortable in their own skin. It’s also the best cure for not only my shutter syndrome (and I’m sure yours), but for those troubling trends plaguing today’s American young girls. 

You can start by boosting your influence with your daughter and stay more connected in her life. It’s the best way to counter those negative media messages and help her become her own person and enjoy who she is.

Updates. September 10, 2009

On the darker side of my life, I’m yet not free from a nightmare. And I’m afraid it shall last with me as long as I live. Meanwhile, I will continue to verbally emote.

On the brighter side of my beautiful life, I’m learning patience. Something I wasn’t born with. I get my lessons at 4 am., at my meal times, at her feeding time, at our playing time, my computer time, my cooking time… and my husband has fun watch me learn. Everyone is having fun just by the idea that I’m learning patience. Mom says, “Now you know!!! And just so you know more… she is exactly like you.” Every now and then I get a, “Enjoyed getting attention all the time? Now enjoy giving it.” (Barbie hogs attention all day long and until she sleeps at night. Thank God, she figured out ‘night’ means sleeping 8 hours.)

Yet on the brighter side of my life, I’m looking forward to winter in UAE and enjoying motherhood and being a wife after having become a mother. Some may wonder what the difference is, but many things do change after a child enters coupledom. I’m enjoying online computer games like Farmville and Mob Wars watching Sex and the City (got all 6 seasons). I’m back to blogging, which feels awesome. And yeah, I’m losing weight….

Size 14 is over with, now, I’m a size 12!!!

P.S.: Every rose has a thorn.

Beautiful Poem of Bereavement For My Dadi August 31, 2009

I lost my Dadi last year on the 5th of September, which was also the 6th of Ramadan according to the Islamic Hijri Calendar.

I still dream of her.

I still like to pretend she didn’t ever exist.

And I’d rather never ever talk of her.

Or write. But this is the only dignified way I can grieve.

Recently, I’ve been addicted to Desperate Housewives. Finished watching Season 4 and now onto Season 5. The poem Mrs. McClusky recites for Aida, before they sprinkle the latter’s ashes, touched my heart.

Upon reading the master piece over and over, I felt it fits this old woman who was always vibrant and alive and who left us forever.

Dadi, this is for you.

“Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die.”

Mary Elizabeth Frye – 1932